Body After Babies

   It should totally be against the genetics gods to be 5 foot tall and have a 9.5 pound breech baby that is 20.5 inches long in the middle of summer, may I add. I think if you are a short,petite person, you should have a tiny little healthy baby. I think that sounds PERFECT!
 A couple of months ago I was changing my shirt in my bedroom, when Ella came in. " Mom, what are those shiny silver and purple things all over your belly?" She has seen me change my shirt a million times, and she is just now noticing this? How in the world do I answer this? "Well, my belly was really small and flat(ahh memories) before Jesus decided to put you in my belly. Jesus knew what he was doing when he made  my skin. He must have known that he was going to make you a little chunker so he gave me a whole lotta skin. He stretched it way out and then I think he forgot to give my skin(and muscles) memory to go back to where they were before you were born."  I said remembering those size 2 jeans I once wore. Ella sat there really thinking hard."Mom, He knew he was going to give you more kids, That's why He didn't give your skin a memory! I guess Jesus gave you those stripes to decorate your belly because He wanted to let you know I was about to be born.I hope Jesus does the same thing for me someday when I am about to have a baby. I wonder what color he will decorate my zebra stripes. I think I am going to name my first daughter Taylor(after Taylor Swift) and my second daughter Juliette. What do you think?"  I about busted the button(not too hard to do) off of my jeans laughing. " Exactly, Ella  Why didn't I think of that?!" I asked." Because, Mom, sometimes Moms don't know everything." She answered. And there is was. Even though I struggle with the way my body after babies look, my kids could careless. They look at my really deep and really wide stretch marks as a cool badge of honor. Even though that can ease my brain and eyeballs a bit, I still think it should be completely illegal to look like Kate Gosselin's stomach  after she had  her sextuplets. I didn't have the pleasure of carrying 6 babies at once,just 1. I also want to pass a law(haha) that every mother  should be able to have a tummy tuck and boob lift/job after they have kids. Oh and your insurance should pay for it! I begged my doctor after my c-section with Jonathan to make that "oops! He accidentally just gave me a tummy tuck,not on purpose after my C-section incision."  It's not fair to have to pick up your boobs off of your sagging stomach and roll them up into your bra!  For goodness sake my nickname was Triple A and it wasn't after the batteries. I was without a doubt on the itty bitty titty committee. Oh, but then for some reason the boobs became bigger than my kid's head while breastfeeding! Then to top that off, they deflate and sag when you are finished weaning a baby! Oh well! The price I have paid to have beautiful ,healthy children and a husband, who thankfully, has horrible eye sight and a crappy memory of pre baby body!