THE SEPTIC TANK

   My Grandma and Grandpa lived on about 4 acres. At one point my Grandma and Grandpa had cows, a huge veggie and fruit garden,beautiful rose gardens and an apple orchard. My parents would let us run the land when we would go out there. It was great. My Grandparents also have a septic tank. It used to have a bubble like metal top. Well, it did have a metal top, until I fell through it.  Yep, You got it, at one point in my life half my body was swimming in poo. My Grandma's poo that is! Yuck!

  Before my Grandpa died,he would have what he called a "fall round up."  All of the grand kids come out and help clean up the yard and harvest what is left in the gardens, before winter would come. Then they would order LaRosas or Grandma would make dinner for us.
   We carried on this tradition after Grandpa died. It was too much for Grandma to do alone. So, We go out to Grandma's. I had  had Ella and Leah. They were 1 and 2. Both walking. We are all cleaning outside and Ella and Leah keep running over the septic tank cover. I kept telling them to stop. Did they listen? Of course not! My Dad yells at me to grab Ella would kept jumping on it. I run over, to get her I reach over to grab her and she runs off the lid at this point.  Well, I am already on top of the tank. And the next thing I know is that I am holding on for dear life while half of my body is in the septic tank and my one leg is in a heel stretch position  outside of the tank. IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! I start screaming and my family comes running over laughing hysterically. Really people? You aren't swimming in poo!  My brothers drag be out of the tank. I have crap(literally) all over my body, and in  my hair. I hobble into my Grandma's garage, and strip down naked, throwing my shoes and clothes away. I couldn't decide if I wanted to puke, faint,laugh or cry! I had to get into the shower,obviously and get some new clothes. I go running into my Grandma's house with nothing covering me but a dish towel. Grandma is sitting in her chair. She comes following me into the bathroom.  " Why are you running through the house with not a stitch of clothing on?" She asks. " I fell through your septic tank." I say. " What do you mean you fell through my septic tank? It has a lid." She asks extremely confused. " I fell through it Grandma. It was dry rotted and 30 something years old." I reply. For goodness sake I am trying to scrub her poop off my body! I don't need to be questioned! I tell her to ask my Dad about it. But first, she went in her room and got some clothes out  for me to borrow. Remember,shes 83ish and I am 25. There is a  little bit of a fashion gap there. On her bed she sets out for me a Christmas turtleneck, puke green elastic wasted pants, hospital socks with the tread things on the bottom, and a green harvest sweater, complete with pumpkins and gourds. Oh and I almost forgot, I had to borrow her bra! Ha!Ha! Needless to say it was WAY too small. How did I get this lucky? This would only happen to me!!
    My Mom made me call about getting a tetanus shot. Of course I needed a tetanus shot. It was a Sunday, so I had to go to the hospital and  get a shot. I got some stares! Oh well! A day in the life of Bridget!!