To say it has been a calm day, is an understatement. I should have known how the day was going to go when I could hardly get my girls out of bed for school. Leah, especially was giving me a run for my money this morning. She was dragging her feet and being very difficult,which made us late for school. This was problem # 1 of the day. I should have gone back to bed, but I didn't.
I was so excited for today because Leah 's dance class was over and neither of the girls had piano today. I had plans to get a ton accomplished today. Did that happen? Absolutely not! I pick Leah up from school, where she proceeds to tell me that she almost puked at school and had the cold sweats,a bellyache and headache. I take one good look at her and know that she has strep throat. Sure enough, after a visit to my wonderful doctor's office(they were awesome and squeezed us in) Leah is confirmed with her 6th case of strep since December and has to go see an ENT to get her tonsils out. This is problem of the day #2.
We get home from the doctor's office and I get Leah and Jonathan all situated with a movie so I can go switch over the laundry. I go downstairs, lift up the lid of the washer and see that my washer isn't spinning all of the water out of my clothes. OY!!! This is problem of the day #3.
Ralph gets home from work. I explain to him about the washer. While I am telling him about the washer, he gets a phone call and rushes outside from the madness in the house to be able to hear the person on the other end of the phone. He comes back inside, and has" that look". You know, "the look" your husband has when he is extremely pissed off and is about to explode, but can't because his kids are in the room and doesn't want them to pay a larger dollar amount for the therapy sessions they will need as adults because of their father's explosive behavior.I ask him "What's the matter?" He proceeds to tell me that our bank put a fraud alert on our savings and checking account because they have been having fraudulent activity with the one restaurant we went to. Seriously? Can the day get any worse? Oh you bet your ass it can! This is problem of the day # 4.
The rule at our house is, when you have strep throat and you have to get a shot, you get to pick whatever you want for dinner. Leah decides she wants Chinese. Yum! I love Chinese! Ralph decides to pick up the food on the way home from work. He tells me something weird was going on at the restaurant. He didn't hear any fryers going and it was so weird how quick our food was ready. Needless to say, our food was DISGUSTING!! GROSS!! GROSS!! GROSS!! I settled for an orange and a piece of cheese for dinner. Problem of the day # 5.
This is the cherry topper to my day. I am taking Ella to dance class. Two blocks up from my house I stop at a 4 way stop sign. It is my turn to go. I proceed, with caution. The person on the right side of me did not. He is driving a big gray truck. He hits the back end of my car and slows down, looks at me and keeps on driving. I have watched way too many episodes of Cops and Police Women of Cincinnati. I throw my car in park, push the door open and start sprinting toward this guys car. This guy in a white van saw the whole thing and starts driving after him. He corners his car. The guy gets out a block and a half away from where he hit me and says "Uhh did I hit your car?" My response" What do you think? " I have his license plate memorized. I already know his type way too well. His type likes to steal strollers off of people's front porches. " You aren't going to call the police, are you?" He asks. "I already did." I say breathless from my high speed foot chase and calling 911 at the same time. Sometimes, I do impress myself. That is what you call multi-tasking ,my friends. "Damn." is all he had to say to me.
I come to find out that he was driving his "baby moms" truck. In those exact words,"baby moms". At this point, I am thinking Dear God, its me, Bridget! Please help!! Why, oh why, can't there be normal, decent human beings on this earth? And by the way, the hit man claims that he wasn't sure if he actually hit my car. How do you not know if you hit someones car? Really? Oh, and before the cops came, he licked his hand and tried to rub out my bumper. "It's paint!" I snapped! " You can't rub it out!" He just looked at me like I had three heads. At least he was smart enough to go stand on the opposite side of the street after I was kind of pissy with him. On a positive note, he did have proof of insurance. We shall see, if it is active. I am not going to hold my breath. I also think God was trying to give me a sign today,when my change from my iced tea was $6.66. I even donated a dollar to benefit some foundation so I wouldn't have that amount of change. And what do you know? This was problem #6!
I can' t wait to get in my bed tonight and forget this all happened! These days only make you stronger or an alcoholic!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
THE SEPTIC TANK
My Grandma and Grandpa lived on about 4 acres. At one point my Grandma and Grandpa had cows, a huge veggie and fruit garden,beautiful rose gardens and an apple orchard. My parents would let us run the land when we would go out there. It was great. My Grandparents also have a septic tank. It used to have a bubble like metal top. Well, it did have a metal top, until I fell through it. Yep, You got it, at one point in my life half my body was swimming in poo. My Grandma's poo that is! Yuck!
Before my Grandpa died,he would have what he called a "fall round up." All of the grand kids come out and help clean up the yard and harvest what is left in the gardens, before winter would come. Then they would order LaRosas or Grandma would make dinner for us.
We carried on this tradition after Grandpa died. It was too much for Grandma to do alone. So, We go out to Grandma's. I had had Ella and Leah. They were 1 and 2. Both walking. We are all cleaning outside and Ella and Leah keep running over the septic tank cover. I kept telling them to stop. Did they listen? Of course not! My Dad yells at me to grab Ella would kept jumping on it. I run over, to get her I reach over to grab her and she runs off the lid at this point. Well, I am already on top of the tank. And the next thing I know is that I am holding on for dear life while half of my body is in the septic tank and my one leg is in a heel stretch position outside of the tank. IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! I start screaming and my family comes running over laughing hysterically. Really people? You aren't swimming in poo! My brothers drag be out of the tank. I have crap(literally) all over my body, and in my hair. I hobble into my Grandma's garage, and strip down naked, throwing my shoes and clothes away. I couldn't decide if I wanted to puke, faint,laugh or cry! I had to get into the shower,obviously and get some new clothes. I go running into my Grandma's house with nothing covering me but a dish towel. Grandma is sitting in her chair. She comes following me into the bathroom. " Why are you running through the house with not a stitch of clothing on?" She asks. " I fell through your septic tank." I say. " What do you mean you fell through my septic tank? It has a lid." She asks extremely confused. " I fell through it Grandma. It was dry rotted and 30 something years old." I reply. For goodness sake I am trying to scrub her poop off my body! I don't need to be questioned! I tell her to ask my Dad about it. But first, she went in her room and got some clothes out for me to borrow. Remember,shes 83ish and I am 25. There is a little bit of a fashion gap there. On her bed she sets out for me a Christmas turtleneck, puke green elastic wasted pants, hospital socks with the tread things on the bottom, and a green harvest sweater, complete with pumpkins and gourds. Oh and I almost forgot, I had to borrow her bra! Ha!Ha! Needless to say it was WAY too small. How did I get this lucky? This would only happen to me!!
My Mom made me call about getting a tetanus shot. Of course I needed a tetanus shot. It was a Sunday, so I had to go to the hospital and get a shot. I got some stares! Oh well! A day in the life of Bridget!!
Before my Grandpa died,he would have what he called a "fall round up." All of the grand kids come out and help clean up the yard and harvest what is left in the gardens, before winter would come. Then they would order LaRosas or Grandma would make dinner for us.
We carried on this tradition after Grandpa died. It was too much for Grandma to do alone. So, We go out to Grandma's. I had had Ella and Leah. They were 1 and 2. Both walking. We are all cleaning outside and Ella and Leah keep running over the septic tank cover. I kept telling them to stop. Did they listen? Of course not! My Dad yells at me to grab Ella would kept jumping on it. I run over, to get her I reach over to grab her and she runs off the lid at this point. Well, I am already on top of the tank. And the next thing I know is that I am holding on for dear life while half of my body is in the septic tank and my one leg is in a heel stretch position outside of the tank. IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! I start screaming and my family comes running over laughing hysterically. Really people? You aren't swimming in poo! My brothers drag be out of the tank. I have crap(literally) all over my body, and in my hair. I hobble into my Grandma's garage, and strip down naked, throwing my shoes and clothes away. I couldn't decide if I wanted to puke, faint,laugh or cry! I had to get into the shower,obviously and get some new clothes. I go running into my Grandma's house with nothing covering me but a dish towel. Grandma is sitting in her chair. She comes following me into the bathroom. " Why are you running through the house with not a stitch of clothing on?" She asks. " I fell through your septic tank." I say. " What do you mean you fell through my septic tank? It has a lid." She asks extremely confused. " I fell through it Grandma. It was dry rotted and 30 something years old." I reply. For goodness sake I am trying to scrub her poop off my body! I don't need to be questioned! I tell her to ask my Dad about it. But first, she went in her room and got some clothes out for me to borrow. Remember,shes 83ish and I am 25. There is a little bit of a fashion gap there. On her bed she sets out for me a Christmas turtleneck, puke green elastic wasted pants, hospital socks with the tread things on the bottom, and a green harvest sweater, complete with pumpkins and gourds. Oh and I almost forgot, I had to borrow her bra! Ha!Ha! Needless to say it was WAY too small. How did I get this lucky? This would only happen to me!!
My Mom made me call about getting a tetanus shot. Of course I needed a tetanus shot. It was a Sunday, so I had to go to the hospital and get a shot. I got some stares! Oh well! A day in the life of Bridget!!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
OPI SPARKLING RED - LIPS THAT IS
I guess growing up with two older sisters has to be tough. Jonathan is always the babysitter of their baby dolls and always gets the short end of the stick when it comes to the girls playing barbies together instead of rebounding his basketballs or being the pitcher for his baseball game. He usually wants to do whatever his sisters are doing. This would only naturally include putting on lip gloss , nails being polished and putting on head bands.
We always having a lot of nail polish at our house being a Cosmetologist it can be an addiciton for the great discount I recieve. St. Nick decided to stuff my girls stockings with a mini set OPI sparkling nail polish. St. Nick will NEVER do this again. Dumbest idea ever!
This day, I am about to tell you about is going to go down in the history books. We have a had a very cold winter here, in Northern Kentucky. Chapped faces and runny noses seem to be the fashion for children's faces. I had picked Leah up from Kindergarten. We get home from school, I ran upstairs to use the bathroom. I was gone for 30 seconds, at most. I tell Leah to keep an eye on her brother for a second. I come downstairs to my son, with very RED sparkling lips. I thought Leah had put lipstick on him. She is notorious for wearing lipstick all the time. Thank goodness she finally started calling it lipstick and not lipdick. That was a problem for a while. So, back to the sparkling lips. As I get closer to Jonathan, I realize that its not lipstick,its OPI SPARKLING RED NAIL POLISH. "Mom, I let buddy polish his lips!" Leah says all proud. OMG! Nail polish. How in the wide world am I going to get nail polish off of his lips? Not only was it on his lips,it was underneath his nose, where his skin was so chapped and crusty from our horrible winter. I tried wipes. I tried soap. I tried everything. NOTHING was working and my girls needed to go to basketball practice. Great, I am going to have to take my son and his sparkling lips into a gym. Thank goodness he is 2 and won't realize the cross dresser looks he would be given. Oh, and I almost forgot, he was boycotting wearing shoes that day. He looked negleted to say the least!
After I got a million questions from the little kids in the gym and weirdo stares, a Mom comes up to me and asked me if I called poison control. I didn't. I am positive he didn't drink it. He is the youngest of 3. I was trying to get out the door on time to get to the darn basketball practice . I didn't have time to call poison contol!Be happy I am here on time and my other two kids have shoes on with possible matching socks(yeah right!)
Three days later, after going to the grocery store, running mulitple errands and going to Jonathan's sisters activities he finally didn't look like Johnna anymore and looked like himself again. I had to pin him on the couch with vaseline and warm water and scrub away while he screamed"I not like my wed(red) wips(lips) Mom! Stop it! Stop it!"
Lesson learned: I will never leave Leah in charge, even if its for 30 seconds to pee. St. Nick will never bring stocking stuffers of nail polish, and I will take a picture next time if his lips ever get polished again!
We always having a lot of nail polish at our house being a Cosmetologist it can be an addiciton for the great discount I recieve. St. Nick decided to stuff my girls stockings with a mini set OPI sparkling nail polish. St. Nick will NEVER do this again. Dumbest idea ever!
This day, I am about to tell you about is going to go down in the history books. We have a had a very cold winter here, in Northern Kentucky. Chapped faces and runny noses seem to be the fashion for children's faces. I had picked Leah up from Kindergarten. We get home from school, I ran upstairs to use the bathroom. I was gone for 30 seconds, at most. I tell Leah to keep an eye on her brother for a second. I come downstairs to my son, with very RED sparkling lips. I thought Leah had put lipstick on him. She is notorious for wearing lipstick all the time. Thank goodness she finally started calling it lipstick and not lipdick. That was a problem for a while. So, back to the sparkling lips. As I get closer to Jonathan, I realize that its not lipstick,its OPI SPARKLING RED NAIL POLISH. "Mom, I let buddy polish his lips!" Leah says all proud. OMG! Nail polish. How in the wide world am I going to get nail polish off of his lips? Not only was it on his lips,it was underneath his nose, where his skin was so chapped and crusty from our horrible winter. I tried wipes. I tried soap. I tried everything. NOTHING was working and my girls needed to go to basketball practice. Great, I am going to have to take my son and his sparkling lips into a gym. Thank goodness he is 2 and won't realize the cross dresser looks he would be given. Oh, and I almost forgot, he was boycotting wearing shoes that day. He looked negleted to say the least!
After I got a million questions from the little kids in the gym and weirdo stares, a Mom comes up to me and asked me if I called poison control. I didn't. I am positive he didn't drink it. He is the youngest of 3. I was trying to get out the door on time to get to the darn basketball practice . I didn't have time to call poison contol!Be happy I am here on time and my other two kids have shoes on with possible matching socks(yeah right!)
Three days later, after going to the grocery store, running mulitple errands and going to Jonathan's sisters activities he finally didn't look like Johnna anymore and looked like himself again. I had to pin him on the couch with vaseline and warm water and scrub away while he screamed"I not like my wed(red) wips(lips) Mom! Stop it! Stop it!"
Lesson learned: I will never leave Leah in charge, even if its for 30 seconds to pee. St. Nick will never bring stocking stuffers of nail polish, and I will take a picture next time if his lips ever get polished again!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
You Really Just Didn't Do That?!
We bought our house about 8 years ago. It's been a project, like most houses are. Our neighborhood was , and still is,an up in coming neighborhood. All of these little adorable boutiques and second hand stores started filling up the avenue. Of course, they had a children's second hand store, that had some really nice stuff. My girls were 6 months and barely 2 at the time, when I spotted it. I was driving through Bellevue right past the children's store, when this lady was unloading a Schwinn double jogging stroller. I pulled my car over and got out before the lady could even get the stroller through the door. "Wait! Wait!" I exclaimed. "I will take it!"
I didn't even care how much it cost. I needed an outlet and walking with my babies was perfect. It was so stressful and depressing having a colicky baby, a toddler, my Dad being sick,my Mom coping with it all and my "up and coming house" that was in need of a ton of work. This stroller was going to solve all of my problems. It was the best 136.00 dollars I have ever spent. besides the money I am going to spend on that tummy tuck and boob lift SOMEDAY!! I walked and walked and my girls loved it. I would often joke that the stroller was a lot nicer than my car and I didn't have to put gas in it!!
I took the girls for a really long walk one night in early October.I got home and asked Ralph to bring the stroller in the house,and off the porch while I put the girls to bed. I thought he did. And yes, Honey, I am STILL blaming YOU for this 5 years later! There was probably some game on, and he must not have heard me or has major wax build up in his ears or just ignored me. I am going to go with he ignored me.
The next morning I get the girls ready to go for a stroll and walk out to put them in the stroller, and there is no stroller ANYWHERE!!! I called Big Daddy (aka my husband) and asked him where it was. He hadn't a clue about what I was talking about. You have got to be kidding me! Someone stole my stroller. What the hell?
I called and reported it to the police. I thought for sure I would never see my Prozac on three wheels again. That brand of strollers are really expensive if you buy them from a store or order online. 350.00 dollars for a stroller was a little out of our price rang.
One of the last jobs my Dad did on my house was paint it. While he was painting it he took my house numbers down off of my house and threw them in the back pocket of my stroller so he could put them back on my house when he was finished painting. I guess he forgot. He had a few things on his mind.
Needless to say, I was annoyed and getting fatter day by day. I was so irritated about the whole situation. First, I was mad that someone had the audacity to come on to my property and take something of mine that meant so much to me. Didn't they know my Dad was dying of cancer and I needed that stroller so I could go to Christ Hosptial and push my girls up to visit their Papa who was staying in the Oncology floor a week at a time getting treatments!? It was also such a great therapy for me to be able to walk and think and get all of my frustrations out about whole situation. I was pissed!
Fast forward to Halloween. My girls (still) would rather give out candy than go trick or treating. They love seeing all of the costumes. When it is trick or treat in Bellevue, people drop their kids off by the car loads. It is insane. Hundreds walk the streets in their costumes for candy. Ralph and I are sitting on the steps handing out candy when this toothless wonder, and her boyfriend that looks like he hasn't bathed in a century come up to our house pushing MY STROLLER trick or treating with their kids! It's a double stroller, remember. Somewhere, they missed math and a few other things in life because there were 7 kids in my stroller. 4 on the top of the sun visor and 3 in the actual stroller. I, played it cool,kind of! I asked the girl where she got her stroller. "Walmart." She replied quickly with her nasty cigarette dangling from her mouth. "They don't sell them at Walmart." I said. My heart was about pounding out of my chest. "They don't?" Toothless Wonder questioned."You got it off my front porch." I said.I could have peed my pants I was so nervous. What a dumb ass. If you are going to steal someones belongings, don't trick or treat their house with the item you stole! Toothless wonder decides to start walking away from my house.She was looking pretty nervous. Big Daddy was on the phone with the police following Toothless Wonder and her boyfriend down the street while they kept trick or treating with their kids. Poor kids!! The police show up and start questioning. Big Daddy tells them that our house number is in the back pocket of the stroller. What do you know? The police pull out my house number! Supposedly, Unbathed Boyfriend bought the stroller for Toothless Wonder from someone in their housing unit that stole the stroller from my house. The police look up the guy's name they gave and he's incarcerated for burglary! Imagine that!!
Next thing I see is Big Daddy walking through the crowd gathered around, with my stroller! You have got to be kidding me! I think God was afraid I was going to go off the deep end so he was able to have my stroller rescued!! I was elated! After all the crappy things that life was throwing at us, finally, a little thing that made a huge difference in my daily life and waist line was positive!
That night we brought the stroller in our house, and had to take it outside to the back porch because it had to be aired out. It reeked of cigarettes and pot! Big Daddy babysat my stroller for me for a couple of hours. We weren't going to have a repeat of the ordeal twice!
I still use my stroller almost everyday! It has been my therapy and saving grace a lot of the time! This Momma is happy!!
I didn't even care how much it cost. I needed an outlet and walking with my babies was perfect. It was so stressful and depressing having a colicky baby, a toddler, my Dad being sick,my Mom coping with it all and my "up and coming house" that was in need of a ton of work. This stroller was going to solve all of my problems. It was the best 136.00 dollars I have ever spent. besides the money I am going to spend on that tummy tuck and boob lift SOMEDAY!! I walked and walked and my girls loved it. I would often joke that the stroller was a lot nicer than my car and I didn't have to put gas in it!!
I took the girls for a really long walk one night in early October.I got home and asked Ralph to bring the stroller in the house,and off the porch while I put the girls to bed. I thought he did. And yes, Honey, I am STILL blaming YOU for this 5 years later! There was probably some game on, and he must not have heard me or has major wax build up in his ears or just ignored me. I am going to go with he ignored me.
The next morning I get the girls ready to go for a stroll and walk out to put them in the stroller, and there is no stroller ANYWHERE!!! I called Big Daddy (aka my husband) and asked him where it was. He hadn't a clue about what I was talking about. You have got to be kidding me! Someone stole my stroller. What the hell?
I called and reported it to the police. I thought for sure I would never see my Prozac on three wheels again. That brand of strollers are really expensive if you buy them from a store or order online. 350.00 dollars for a stroller was a little out of our price rang.
One of the last jobs my Dad did on my house was paint it. While he was painting it he took my house numbers down off of my house and threw them in the back pocket of my stroller so he could put them back on my house when he was finished painting. I guess he forgot. He had a few things on his mind.
Needless to say, I was annoyed and getting fatter day by day. I was so irritated about the whole situation. First, I was mad that someone had the audacity to come on to my property and take something of mine that meant so much to me. Didn't they know my Dad was dying of cancer and I needed that stroller so I could go to Christ Hosptial and push my girls up to visit their Papa who was staying in the Oncology floor a week at a time getting treatments!? It was also such a great therapy for me to be able to walk and think and get all of my frustrations out about whole situation. I was pissed!
Fast forward to Halloween. My girls (still) would rather give out candy than go trick or treating. They love seeing all of the costumes. When it is trick or treat in Bellevue, people drop their kids off by the car loads. It is insane. Hundreds walk the streets in their costumes for candy. Ralph and I are sitting on the steps handing out candy when this toothless wonder, and her boyfriend that looks like he hasn't bathed in a century come up to our house pushing MY STROLLER trick or treating with their kids! It's a double stroller, remember. Somewhere, they missed math and a few other things in life because there were 7 kids in my stroller. 4 on the top of the sun visor and 3 in the actual stroller. I, played it cool,kind of! I asked the girl where she got her stroller. "Walmart." She replied quickly with her nasty cigarette dangling from her mouth. "They don't sell them at Walmart." I said. My heart was about pounding out of my chest. "They don't?" Toothless Wonder questioned."You got it off my front porch." I said.I could have peed my pants I was so nervous. What a dumb ass. If you are going to steal someones belongings, don't trick or treat their house with the item you stole! Toothless wonder decides to start walking away from my house.She was looking pretty nervous. Big Daddy was on the phone with the police following Toothless Wonder and her boyfriend down the street while they kept trick or treating with their kids. Poor kids!! The police show up and start questioning. Big Daddy tells them that our house number is in the back pocket of the stroller. What do you know? The police pull out my house number! Supposedly, Unbathed Boyfriend bought the stroller for Toothless Wonder from someone in their housing unit that stole the stroller from my house. The police look up the guy's name they gave and he's incarcerated for burglary! Imagine that!!
Next thing I see is Big Daddy walking through the crowd gathered around, with my stroller! You have got to be kidding me! I think God was afraid I was going to go off the deep end so he was able to have my stroller rescued!! I was elated! After all the crappy things that life was throwing at us, finally, a little thing that made a huge difference in my daily life and waist line was positive!
That night we brought the stroller in our house, and had to take it outside to the back porch because it had to be aired out. It reeked of cigarettes and pot! Big Daddy babysat my stroller for me for a couple of hours. We weren't going to have a repeat of the ordeal twice!
I still use my stroller almost everyday! It has been my therapy and saving grace a lot of the time! This Momma is happy!!
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Wrecking Crew~
Growing up in a household of boys, I thought I was completely destined to have all boys. I never imagined I would have girls.EVER! I do enjoy my girls. Also, I enjoy watching them interact as sisters. The whole sister"let me scream at the top of my lungs at my sissy who has my favorite barbie ,even though it really is my sissy's barbie, but I am gonna scream anyway until I get it back" is completely forgein to me. My brothers would just punch the crap out of each other and that was that. Problem solved. No hair being pulled and no cat clawing going on, just a good old fashioned knock out. And I don't even think my parents knew about half of the boxing matches that went on,unless they broke something or a body part.
My Mom went back to school when my youngest brother, Philip was in 1st grade. Up until my mom went back to college she would babysit at our house.It took her 5 years to graduate with her RN. She did all of this with 4 kids and a husband. Pretty impressive, right? For sure!
My Mom landed a job as a Labor and Delivery Nurse at the local hospital by our house. It was the first day of her job, and she left me in charge of the boys. The most exciting thing is, is that I got my license the day before ! Finally!!! FREEDOM!! My Dad had gotten me a Plymoth Sundance(nuns used to drive these cars) at the local dump,I think. He bought it for 400.00 and I thought it was perfect! We didn't have two pennies to rub together, so this was a HUGE deal! Back to me, being in charge. So, Mom leaves me in charge. If I remember correctly, Clay (brother # 2 out of 3) and Philip(brother#3 of 3) start getting into a fight, about Lord knows what. The next thing I know,Clay pushes Philip back and Philip cracks his head on the corner of the brick fireplace. And then the blood starts squirting on the grey carpet. OMG! Thank goodness my bro's had gotten stitches more than a few times, so I knew to put pressure on the open, gapping wound. Well, it wouldn't stop bleeding and Philip was crying for my Mom and Clay was crying not because Philip was hurt, but because he had to face my Mom and Dad, and I was crying because of the whole thing. I tell Philip we are going to have to go to the ER. He is competlely flipping out. I just learned how to drive and have to rush my brother to the ER. God, help me! Please!!! We finally get there, and my nerves are a bit shaken. I was under 18 they needed to have an adult to consent for him to be seen. Oh geez! "Page my Mom, I guess." I said. The chick at the ER desk asked me where she was."First day of orentation for the Birthing Center." The ER chick just laughed. "This will be good!" She said. They page my Mom and she comes running like a bat out of hell to Philip 's rescue. "Whoops!"Is all I can say"Oh, and they don't listen." I add.
She wasn't mad at me. Thank goodness. After all, I didn't wreck on the way there and I took care of her baby boy. After that, when all of them would fight, I would just bust out the broom. Word to the wise,it is a great weapon when breaking up fights between your brothers. They knew I meant business!! And I would remind them,about Philip's stitches.
My Mom always says to us, "If you don't have the love and support of your siblings and you if can't lean on them, who can you lean on? Believe it or not, they will be your best friends and you will need them some day."
I don't think we would realize how true that quote from our Mom was to us, until my Dad got sick. I do know that I have the best brothers in the whole world. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to make a unit stronger. I think we have always been a strong family unit,but we are a unbreakable , unshakable unit now! Thank goodness for my brothers!
My Mom went back to school when my youngest brother, Philip was in 1st grade. Up until my mom went back to college she would babysit at our house.It took her 5 years to graduate with her RN. She did all of this with 4 kids and a husband. Pretty impressive, right? For sure!
My Mom landed a job as a Labor and Delivery Nurse at the local hospital by our house. It was the first day of her job, and she left me in charge of the boys. The most exciting thing is, is that I got my license the day before ! Finally!!! FREEDOM!! My Dad had gotten me a Plymoth Sundance(nuns used to drive these cars) at the local dump,I think. He bought it for 400.00 and I thought it was perfect! We didn't have two pennies to rub together, so this was a HUGE deal! Back to me, being in charge. So, Mom leaves me in charge. If I remember correctly, Clay (brother # 2 out of 3) and Philip(brother#3 of 3) start getting into a fight, about Lord knows what. The next thing I know,Clay pushes Philip back and Philip cracks his head on the corner of the brick fireplace. And then the blood starts squirting on the grey carpet. OMG! Thank goodness my bro's had gotten stitches more than a few times, so I knew to put pressure on the open, gapping wound. Well, it wouldn't stop bleeding and Philip was crying for my Mom and Clay was crying not because Philip was hurt, but because he had to face my Mom and Dad, and I was crying because of the whole thing. I tell Philip we are going to have to go to the ER. He is competlely flipping out. I just learned how to drive and have to rush my brother to the ER. God, help me! Please!!! We finally get there, and my nerves are a bit shaken. I was under 18 they needed to have an adult to consent for him to be seen. Oh geez! "Page my Mom, I guess." I said. The chick at the ER desk asked me where she was."First day of orentation for the Birthing Center." The ER chick just laughed. "This will be good!" She said. They page my Mom and she comes running like a bat out of hell to Philip 's rescue. "Whoops!"Is all I can say"Oh, and they don't listen." I add.
She wasn't mad at me. Thank goodness. After all, I didn't wreck on the way there and I took care of her baby boy. After that, when all of them would fight, I would just bust out the broom. Word to the wise,it is a great weapon when breaking up fights between your brothers. They knew I meant business!! And I would remind them,about Philip's stitches.
My Mom always says to us, "If you don't have the love and support of your siblings and you if can't lean on them, who can you lean on? Believe it or not, they will be your best friends and you will need them some day."
I don't think we would realize how true that quote from our Mom was to us, until my Dad got sick. I do know that I have the best brothers in the whole world. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to make a unit stronger. I think we have always been a strong family unit,but we are a unbreakable , unshakable unit now! Thank goodness for my brothers!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Body After Babies
It should totally be against the genetics gods to be 5 foot tall and have a 9.5 pound breech baby that is 20.5 inches long in the middle of summer, may I add. I think if you are a short,petite person, you should have a tiny little healthy baby. I think that sounds PERFECT!
A couple of months ago I was changing my shirt in my bedroom, when Ella came in. " Mom, what are those shiny silver and purple things all over your belly?" She has seen me change my shirt a million times, and she is just now noticing this? How in the world do I answer this? "Well, my belly was really small and flat(ahh memories) before Jesus decided to put you in my belly. Jesus knew what he was doing when he made my skin. He must have known that he was going to make you a little chunker so he gave me a whole lotta skin. He stretched it way out and then I think he forgot to give my skin(and muscles) memory to go back to where they were before you were born." I said remembering those size 2 jeans I once wore. Ella sat there really thinking hard."Mom, He knew he was going to give you more kids, That's why He didn't give your skin a memory! I guess Jesus gave you those stripes to decorate your belly because He wanted to let you know I was about to be born.I hope Jesus does the same thing for me someday when I am about to have a baby. I wonder what color he will decorate my zebra stripes. I think I am going to name my first daughter Taylor(after Taylor Swift) and my second daughter Juliette. What do you think?" I about busted the button(not too hard to do) off of my jeans laughing. " Exactly, Ella Why didn't I think of that?!" I asked." Because, Mom, sometimes Moms don't know everything." She answered. And there is was. Even though I struggle with the way my body after babies look, my kids could careless. They look at my really deep and really wide stretch marks as a cool badge of honor. Even though that can ease my brain and eyeballs a bit, I still think it should be completely illegal to look like Kate Gosselin's stomach after she had her sextuplets. I didn't have the pleasure of carrying 6 babies at once,just 1. I also want to pass a law(haha) that every mother should be able to have a tummy tuck and boob lift/job after they have kids. Oh and your insurance should pay for it! I begged my doctor after my c-section with Jonathan to make that "oops! He accidentally just gave me a tummy tuck,not on purpose after my C-section incision." It's not fair to have to pick up your boobs off of your sagging stomach and roll them up into your bra! For goodness sake my nickname was Triple A and it wasn't after the batteries. I was without a doubt on the itty bitty titty committee. Oh, but then for some reason the boobs became bigger than my kid's head while breastfeeding! Then to top that off, they deflate and sag when you are finished weaning a baby! Oh well! The price I have paid to have beautiful ,healthy children and a husband, who thankfully, has horrible eye sight and a crappy memory of pre baby body!
A couple of months ago I was changing my shirt in my bedroom, when Ella came in. " Mom, what are those shiny silver and purple things all over your belly?" She has seen me change my shirt a million times, and she is just now noticing this? How in the world do I answer this? "Well, my belly was really small and flat(ahh memories) before Jesus decided to put you in my belly. Jesus knew what he was doing when he made my skin. He must have known that he was going to make you a little chunker so he gave me a whole lotta skin. He stretched it way out and then I think he forgot to give my skin(and muscles) memory to go back to where they were before you were born." I said remembering those size 2 jeans I once wore. Ella sat there really thinking hard."Mom, He knew he was going to give you more kids, That's why He didn't give your skin a memory! I guess Jesus gave you those stripes to decorate your belly because He wanted to let you know I was about to be born.I hope Jesus does the same thing for me someday when I am about to have a baby. I wonder what color he will decorate my zebra stripes. I think I am going to name my first daughter Taylor(after Taylor Swift) and my second daughter Juliette. What do you think?" I about busted the button(not too hard to do) off of my jeans laughing. " Exactly, Ella Why didn't I think of that?!" I asked." Because, Mom, sometimes Moms don't know everything." She answered. And there is was. Even though I struggle with the way my body after babies look, my kids could careless. They look at my really deep and really wide stretch marks as a cool badge of honor. Even though that can ease my brain and eyeballs a bit, I still think it should be completely illegal to look like Kate Gosselin's stomach after she had her sextuplets. I didn't have the pleasure of carrying 6 babies at once,just 1. I also want to pass a law(haha) that every mother should be able to have a tummy tuck and boob lift/job after they have kids. Oh and your insurance should pay for it! I begged my doctor after my c-section with Jonathan to make that "oops! He accidentally just gave me a tummy tuck,not on purpose after my C-section incision." It's not fair to have to pick up your boobs off of your sagging stomach and roll them up into your bra! For goodness sake my nickname was Triple A and it wasn't after the batteries. I was without a doubt on the itty bitty titty committee. Oh, but then for some reason the boobs became bigger than my kid's head while breastfeeding! Then to top that off, they deflate and sag when you are finished weaning a baby! Oh well! The price I have paid to have beautiful ,healthy children and a husband, who thankfully, has horrible eye sight and a crappy memory of pre baby body!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
My April Baby
Leah came into this world screaming on a chilly April day, and hasn't backed down since! This little girl has the strongest personality. She might be the funniest kid I have ever met. I mean, I did give birth to her, and Ralph is her father so I guess there really isn't much of an option but, to be hysterical in many ways.
Lee Lee is about to turn 6. I can't believe it! She and I go head to head A LOT!Probably because we are way too much alike. But, she is also the first of my 3 kids to run to me and hug me or sit on my lap and tell me how much she loves me or missed me while I was at work! She has this extreme talent of crossing her eyes while squirting tears from them. Its pretty gross,actually. The reaction she gets from people makes her do it all the more!
The picture above, is the first time Leah had her bangs cut off.She has sported this do,not once but twice. First, Ella cut her bangs off. I will never forget it, because I thought I was going to have a flippin heart attack. I was on the phone with the doctor's office because Ella needed to be seen for strep throat, again!Ella was 3 and Leah was 2 at the time. They were in my living room and I was in the kitchen. Ella comes in the kitchen and tells me she needs a pen to write her name on a paper. My back was turned away from her so I didn't actually see her grab"the pen."I didn't know that I had sewing scissors in the pen can. Guess what happens next? You guessed it! Ella grabbed the scissors and quietly went into the living room. I got off the phone with the doctor's office and went into the other room to get the girls ready to see Dr. Joan.They were both so good while I was on the phone. They were side by side on the couch when I walked in. And there it was...beautiful blond hair all over Leah's lap. I looked at Ella with the scissors in her hand and my bald daughter sitting next to her and thought I was going to scream. "You have got to be kidding me! " I yelled. Ella's reply" I think Leah looks beautiful,Mom!" Leah had the biggest smile across her face and Ella was proud of her chop job. It felt like a buzz when I ran my hand over the front of her head. The worst part of it all was I had to take them to the doctor's office . I brought them in and Dr. Joan just started laughing and asking"Leah, who took the hedge trimmers to you?" Ella of course, proud of her work said"I did!!" Dr. Joan just told me to go buy a bunch of huge bows and stick them in front to hide the buzz. We did, for a good year and a half!
So, I lectured them over the years about why you don't cut other people's hair and you have to have a license, like me, to be able to do it. I never said they were good listeners. Let's fast forward 3 years. It's the week before Leah is about to start Kindergarten. A new school, new friends and a new teacher was very intimidating for her. She keeps telling me that she's not going to Kindergarten and she would much rather go back to preschool. I thought it would maybe get her in the mood for school if we went and got school supplies . We came home from shopping and she wanted to go play barbies upstairs in her room. Fine with me! I was sick of her whining about not wanting to go to school anyway. While it was quiet,I decide to rock Jonathan to sleep. About 15 minutes later Leah comes downstairs , smiling. I look up at her and the entire right side of her bangs is cut off. She only has a straggly strand of blond hair left on her forehead. Perfect for a comb over. I flipped out! " Who cut your hair?" She totally played dumb."What are you talking about?" Leah said with that little grin on her face. "Umm ...all of your hair is gone in the front. And I know, it didn't just disappear." I reply. "Ella did it!" She cries. "Again?!! " My voice a little outraged. I am pissed at this point. I yell up the stairs to Ella (who is supposed to be watching a movie in my bed) to get her butt down the stairs very quickly. Oh, and did I mention my baby isn't sleeping baby anymore? Ella comes running down the steps and takes one look at Leah's hair and says"Nice hair, weirdo! Why did you cut your hair off?" Leah's reply" If you think my hair looks bad, you should see my Barbie's hair!" Yep, bald barbies, and barbie hair everywhere all over the floor of their room. I still from time to time find barbie hair hidden while I am vacuuming. And I finally found the big chunk of Leah's hair under the rug in her room.
The first day of Kindergarten, we walk in and see another little girl with the same hair do. Her teacher just laughs and says she sees this hair style quite often with her students. Leah was also the flower girl in my brother 's wedding 9 days later and my sister in law's wedding 4 weeks later.Thank goodness I am a hairdresser!
Leah is my best helper, but cutest(most of the time) challenge. When I think she can't top the last stunt she pulled, she tops it! Just the other day, my cousin Beth called me. Leah answers the phone. Beth asks to speak to me. Leah says"Hold on just minute." A few seconds later Leah gets back on the phone and says"Hi! This is Bridget." Beth starts cracking up laughing. She's already trying to impersonate me on the phone.I wonder what she is going to forge with my signature on it later in life?
As, I type she is serving me lunch ,left over manicotti at Leah's Chinese restaurant. My meal is complete with toilet paper napkins and a plastic fork,but I wouldn't have it any other way from my April baby!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)